A million little thoughts, hopes, and blog post ideas are running through my sleep deprived mind, but I’m too exhausted to put any of them into typed words tonight. Here’s the little culprit robbing me of my sleep…you can see why I don’t mind the lack of sleep too much.
(Notice that he doesn’t seem to have a problem sleeping!!!)
My sweet Grayson was born ONE MONTH ago today – how is that possible?!?!
It’s 10:30 pm. I’m sitting in the dark in our bedroom, holding our sweet son, now 2 weeks old. I keep brushing my fingers against the incredibly soft skin on his cheek, watching his little chest rise and fall. In the faint light emitted by the screen of my laptop, I can see his little mouth rise in a half-smile and my heart melts.
One regret (of many!) that I have is that I never posted on the blog the account of Alexandra’s birth 3 years ago. In my defense, I started it but a little thing called COLIC showed up and everything else –including blogging – came to a screeching halt. Ugh, colic – wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, much less my sweet children. Thankfully, it looks like we dodged the bullet with Grayson (knock on wood!!).
I didn’t want to live that same regret twice, so without further adieu, here’s the birth story of Grayson Charles.
I was scheduled for a repeat c-section for February 25, 5 days in advance of my due date of March 2. After approximately 12 hours of labor with Alexandra, the decision was made to do a c-section due to some non-reassuring heart tones. So the decision was basically made for me to do a repeat c-section with this pregnancy (very few doctors in town do VBACs, that is, vaginal birth after c-section). Grayson’s movement slowed down somewhat toward the end of the pregnancy, enough that it caused me sufficient concern to head to the L&D department on the night of Feb. 15 (where, of course, he was doing barrel rolls and kicks, proving me to be a worry-wart!). I was home within 2 hours of going to the hospital. I was in a deposition the next day with about 10 other attorneys, and my OB – Dr. Kuntz – called me on my cell phone during the depo, noting that she was on call that day and asked if I would want to come into the hospital that afternoon to be delivered? Needless to say, I wasn’t ready to make that decision! So we compromised and ended up moving up my c-section by 2 days to February 23. I had a follow up call from her office scheduler telling me to be at the hospital at 7am and the c-section would be at 9am. Just like that, easy peasy! In some ways, I regret that we never experienced the thrill of me spontaneously going into labor, but it’s also nice to have everything scheduled so you can be packed and prepared and have childcare arrangements in place for your toddler!!
Things are so different with your second child. With Alexandra, I had a huge suitcase packed weeks in advance of her due date. With Grayson, I was up packing the night before and the morning of the delivery – with a much smaller bag, I might add! My parents spent the night so they could get Alexandra to daycare that morning before coming to the hospital. I spent a lot of time with Alexandra that night before the delivery – laying with her in her bed in the dark, talking and singing and – to be honest – with me shedding a few tears. It was definitely a bittersweet moment – while excited to welcome our son, it hit me like a ton of bricks that this was our last night as a family of three. It had just been Ryan, Alexandra and I for so long and I was worried how the dynamic would change with a new baby. Alexandra seemed to know everything would be okay – she patted my face and told me, “Mommy, I’ll make you feel better.” My girl, such a big heart.
So we headed off to the hospital that Wednesday morning, bag packed and ready to go. My Dad went with Ryan and I to the hospital and remarked how calm I appeared, which I really was! Here I am at the hospital, 39 weeks pregnant – check out that huge stomach!
We were shown to our labor and delivery room – since I was a scheduled delivery, we knew I wouldn’t be in there very long, just a couple of hours, max. We had the sweetest nurse – Michelle – and she instantly took command and got my IV started and all of the paperwork going. An attractive young male anesthesiologist came into the room to do my pre-anesthesia evaluation. I made the mistake of turning to nurse Michelle after he left the room and stating – out loud in front of Ryan and my Dad – “He’s pretty good looking, isn’t he?” Ryan’s response was classic: “I’m right here, do you want me to leave the room or something?” OOPS.
I was put in the ever so fashionable hospital gown and even lovelier hair net, but, in the words of Tim Gunn, I tried to make it work!
Ryan got suited up, too – note the Big Blue pride he was sporting for our beloved University of Kentucky Wildcats under his scrubs.
And with that, we were all ready to go. My parents were directed to the family waiting area, where they were joined by Ryan’s dad and stepmother, Jackie, and his grandmother, Helen. Michelle was a dear and grabbed our camera to take one last picture of us before I was wheeled to the OR. (I remembered to put my Rebel in Automatic setting so others could take plenty of pictures!!)
Michelle took us down to OR 3, which she affectionately referred to as the “closet.” She apologized on the way, noting that the room was VERY small. Hey, what did I care, I was going to have a baby in my arms in less than 30 minutes! She was right, though, it was VERY tiny.
It was such a different experience being taken into the operating room this time. With Alexandra, I was exhausted, just drained physically, emotionally and mentally. I had already had my epidural in place, and was wheeled on a bed into the room. This time, I was met by the same anesthesiologist who administered my epidural for Alexandra’s delivery, who administered a spinal right there in the OR. The spinal was SO much better than the epidural – quicker to administer and quicker to wear off in recovery! The anesthesiologist also noted that his eldest daughter – who was about my age – had been delivered in that very OR. I took this as a good sign! Dr. Kuntz and the rest of the team (all female except for the anesthesiologist) came in the room and finished draping and prepping me for the delivery. Ryan was then ushered in, camera in hand, and seated next to my head.
I felt so much clearer mentally with this delivery, knowing what would be involved going into it. I recall chatting fairly casually with Dr. Kuntz and members of the delivery team as they got started about my job, our children, even reality television! Before I knew it, Dr. Kuntz said, “Here we go, Sara.” I held my breath and waited, trying to ignore the nausea that had been brought on by the quick acting spinal. I remember the anesthesiologist placing his hand on my shoulder and Ryan holding my hand. The next thing I knew, our nurse, Michelle, was telling Ryan to give her the camera – QUICK – because our son was being born! I’m so happy she grabbed that camera and was not shy about it, she got some amazing shots.
I waited anxiously for that first cry. As a mother welcoming a baby, it is that first cry of your newborn that provides you with such immense relief that YES, they really are here, and YES, they are okay. I felt the tugging and pressure as the delivery team maneuvered our son and then Dr. Kuntz remarked, “Sara, he’s beautiful!”
And then I heard it. The most beautiful, lusty cry that escaped my son’s mouth.
And I cried. A big sob that I didn’t even know was in my throat choked out of me. And I cried such tears of ABSOLUTE JOY. Our son was HERE, thanks be to GOD.
Dr. Kuntz remarked how tiny he was, but that he had very long feet and fingers! He was quickly taken to the warmer, where he was met by the same neonatologist who attended Alexandra’s delivery (it was like a reunion!). When I asked for his Apgar scores, the neonatologist responded that he got 9 at 1 minute and 9 again at 3 minutes, and he was “just perfect.”
Ryan followed the nurses out of the room to document the weight of our son, who still didn’t have a name at this point! (More on that below).
See how tiny he was, but also check out those long toes and fingers! I immediately started calling him “my little peanut.” Ryan and our son then returned to the room and I got my first close up look. (That is my finger touching his little head).
At that point, they began stitching me back up so I could go to the recovery room. Meanwhile, the nurses said that Ryan could take the baby out in the warmer so he could be seen by our family members. As they were getting ready to go out, someone asked what the baby’s name was. This has been a running thing throughout the pregnancy – we were constantly asked by curious friends and family, “Well, what are you going to name him?” When we said we didn’t know, people thought we were trying to be coy and keep the name a secret, but I’m here to tell you that we TRULY DID NOT KNOW!
We whittled a list of favorites down to 6 or so, but Ryan and I both had our favorites. They were so similar, it is laughable, but I liked Grayson while Ryan liked Mason. How close could we be?! We are both very stubborn, so neither one of us would concede. When asked in the OR what our son’s name was, this sparked the “Great Name Debate” again. Everyone was laughing and the predominantly female delivery team kept telling Ryan how much they liked the name Grayson. Poor Ryan….he looked to the only other male in the room, the anesthesiologist, for help, but the physician just threw his hands in the air and laughed. I told Ryan that when he came back with the baby, we would have to finalize a name.
Here’s some of our proud family – Ryan’s Dad, his grandmother, Helen, my dad, Ryan’s stepmom, Jackie, and my mom.
Ryan then returned to the recovery room where I had since been moved, and showed me his phone – while he had been gone, he had sent a text message with a photo to all of our friends, announcing the arrival of Grayson Charles. Of course, I was happy that he ended up agreeing to the name I liked, but I was shocked that this was how we had “settled” upon eis name! (We had already decided upon the middle name – Charles, for my late grandfather).
The hospital where he was born really emphasizes kangaroo care, so I spent the next two hours in recovery room holding my sweet boy – it was pure heaven.
After a few hours, we were moved from recovery to the mother-baby unit. The reunion continued, as I was greeted by my nurse, Mara – who had been my primary day nurse three years ago on the same unit when Alexandra was born! Really, what are the odds? Mara was my nurse each day we were on the mother-baby unit, and I was so happy this was the case, I just adored her.
Later that afternoon, my mom left the hospital to go pick up Alexandra at daycare and bring her to the hospital. To say I was nervous would be a huge understatement. Sure, we had prepared her as much as we possibly could for this day – I had read a book about being a big sister to her every night for weeks and we had talked about all the things she could do to be “mommy’s big helper” once baby brother came. Still, I was apprehensive as to how she would react once she saw him. Plus, she’s not a fan of hospitals (what kid is?) and I knew she would be a bit freaked out to see me hooked up to an IV.
She entered the room and seemed somewhat bothered, so I quickly introduced her “big sister” present from her baby brother. In the weeks leading up to the delivery, I had put together a present for Alexandra, consisting of a backpack, Curious George doll and books, markers and coloring pages, and Silly Bands. I am SO happy I did this, it was a big hit and helped warm her up – I would highly recommend doing this to anyone welcoming a 2nd or 3rd child into the family!
Mommy and Alexandra spent a little time coloring before we decided to make the big introduction.
I shouldn’t have been nervous because she did GREAT! She was so gentle and sweet - she kept whispering “Hi, baby brother” in this voice that was full of pride and adoration. She loved tickling his feet and holding his little hands. Sitting there holding my son in one arm and my daughter in the other, I considered myself the happiest, luckiest mother in the entire world.
It was hard to say goodbye to her, but I knew she would be in good hands with her daddy and her grandparents!
One last picture in what has been a VERY long post – I would be remiss to post a story detailing Grayson’s birth without also including a picture of Dr. Kuntz with our sweet boy. I am so very fortunate that this very smart, kind and strong woman brought both of my children into this world.
So there you have it! A birth story in a mother’s words and pictures. As a woman, I feel so blessed that God deemed me worthy of being the mother to these two sweet children while they are here on this Earth. Motherhood is truly the greatest gift and experience of my life. I find it incredibly difficult to remember what my life was like before my children, and I certainly cannot fathom a life without my daughter and son in it.
